4 Stages You Go Through When Moving to a New CityBy Amber Gonzales Vargas
Jan. 28 2016, Published 2:30 a.m. ET
Whether you are a recent college grad or someone looking for a change of environment, moving to a new city can be an exciting, lonely, empowering or absolutely terrifying experience. A 2015 report released by the American Institute for Economic Research highlighted that millennials are drawn to their “real-world” destinations based not only on a potential employment, but also on the amenities accessible to them.
With more and more millennials expressing how important it is for them to work for a purpose and work in a space that really defines their lifestyle, it is no surprise that about one million young college-educated millennials travel across state lines per year.
Transitions can be hard and one woman, New York based actress and writer Courtney Case along with executive producer Denayja Reese have created a project that owns this journey that so many of us take. Crying in Public is a new web series that follows Tobi, a 20-something year-old, on her big move to New York and how she manages to make it through her #reasonstocryinpublic and grow in the process.
Here’s how Tobi’s arrival in the big apple resonates with those of us who have made a move and crafted a new city into what we call home:
1. Honeymoon Stage: Energy, Positivity
The arrival in a new city is absolutely wonderful. Nothing can bring you down, not even 100 lbs worth of your belongings. And why should it? You have made it to a new place where you can redefine who you are and the opportunities are endless.
2. Loneliness Stage
Once everything settles down, it can become apparent very fast that you are quite alone. Your family is not nearby, your close friends are far away and anyone near you is really more of an acquaintance. You want to go out and explore, but in many cases you might find yourself trying really hard to go out to that new bar alone.
When I lived in France for 5 months, I spent my first night making sure that everything was unpacked properly and skyped with my mom until the time difference became too unreasonable and it was finally time to go to bed.
Did anyone else catch the copy of the Amy Pohler’s marvelous memoir: Yes Please in the bookcase behind Tobi?
3. Making Mistakes
In this stage, you get hit hard with a good slap of, “WHAT WAS I THINKING?” Sure, you didn’t necessarily have high expectations, but suddenly everything that can go wrong feels like it is going wrong. The reluctant hosts, horrible craigslist experience and stolen suitcase definitely gave Tobi a great reason for #cryinginpublic.
4. Acceptance and Flexibility
You are finally in a space where you can handle anything that comes your way. Even if you had low expectations, maybe you aren’t necessarily where you thought you would be. THAT’S OK! This is a phase of ownership where you don’t need validation from anyone, but yourself.
Tobi said it herself. “Hey I did the hardest part, I’m here and I’m trying”.
If you haven’t already started watching Crying in Public, what are you waiting for? Say yes to Tobi, say yes to yourself! Let us all bond together as we experience or reminisce on our own reasons for #cryinginpublic.
We’ll be posting a new episode from this series every Thursday, so stay tuned.