How Breast Cancer Survivors Are Redefining What Self-Care Looks Like Post-Diagnosis

Even though breast cancer is the most common cancer a woman can get—over 380,000 women get diagnosed every year in the United States—a diagnosis can come as a big shock. The good news is, thanks to medical advancements, the five-year relative survival rate is now in the 90%. Nevertheless, it can be a scary word to hear in your doctor’s office. Over the years, and through careful marketing, self-care has become synonymous with self-pampering: bubble baths and face masks, me-time and getaways. But for women navigating breast cancer, it can mean something else entirely. It can become less about treating herself and more about listening to her body, considering what she needs, and learning when to slow down. 

In her latest book, The Breast Advice, Dr. Elisa Port, Chief of Breast Surgery at Mount Sinai, blends doctor expertise with patient experience to offer a comprehensive approach to dealing with a diagnosis. One of her patients says, “Movement really does help keep you in your body when it’s changing. […] So, move your body. I walked the dog on my sickest days. I would come in from walking the dog, take off all my clothes in the hallway and crawl in bed, but I did it, and I felt better.” 

Dr. Port insists that, “When it comes to breast cancer, there is truly no one-size-fits-all,” so it’s important to find out what works for you. For some, it might be movement; for others, it may be building out carefully curated pampering routines. Some women prefer to prioritize me-time while others would rather be surrounded by loved ones. Find what works for you and honor it. 

In their article featuring multiple breast cancer survivors, Living Beyond Breast Cancer highlights Lydia’s approach to holistic wellness. Diagnosed at 42, Lydia saw self-care as a balance between “physical, social, and mental.” She also admits that, “during treatment, self-care involved ‘stupid stuff,’ [like] online shopping, watching reality TV, eating cake.” 

Self-care doesn’t have to be one single thing; it can be a blend of various things that help you feel better. 

Whenever something hard happens to you, life doesn’t stop going. You’re accustomed to juggling career, family obligations, and more. For some survivors, self-care also means learning to advocate for themselves at home, in their relationships, and at work. It’s okay to slow down certain aspects of your life during this time. 

“Rest is vital to recovery. Remember to take time for yourself. Even a short rest period will do wonders. Listen to your internal body clock,” wrote Bonnie Annis, a Breast Cancer survivor, “Never feel guilty about resting.”

Breast cancer can come with a lot of changes: lifestyle, routine, emotional, mental, and physical. Many women experience changes in their relationship to their body after a breast cancer diagnosis. Surgery, treatment side effects, scars, and changes in physical appearance can leave women feeling disconnected from the bodies they’ve known their entire lives. 

“The changes in your relationship with your body can be profound. There can be a sense of grief and of feeling disconnected from your own body,” said Talia Zaider, PhD, a psychologist, to Breastcancer.org.

Although this is completely normal and to be expected, it’s important to “Get the support you need to face your fears and insecurities,” said Chery Hysjulien, RN, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, to Breastcancer.org. Rebuilding that relationship doesn’t necessarily mean learning to love every physical change. It can mean acknowledging difficult emotions, letting go of unrealistic expectations, and finding new ways to feel comfortable in one’s body.

Ultimately, self-care after a breast cancer diagnosis looks different for everyone, and what works today may not work tomorrow. The most important thing is giving yourself the space, patience, and compassion to figure out what you need, on your own terms.