How To Be An Ally To Your LGBTQIA+ Colleagues This Pride Month And Beyond

Despite evolving times, being queer in the workplace can still be a tough experience. Even if you support the LGBTQIA+ community, it’s important to note that not everyone is an ally. The good news is, you can help by supporting and advocating for your LGBTQIA+ peers. There are around 14 million adults identifying as LGBTQIA+ in the US with Gen Z adults identifying at nearly six times the rate of Gen X. By 2030, Gen Z is projected to comprise 30% of the American workforce.

While we’ve come a long way since the 1950s, when gay and lesbian employees were removed from governmental positions during the Lavender Scare, we still have a long way to go to ensure all LGBTQIA+ members feel safe and included across life sectors. 

Even though same-sex marriage has been legal for a decade and it feels like queer people are being more and more accepted, it’s important to keep in mind that 47% of LGBTQIA+ employees have experienced discrimination or harassment in the workplace with transgender and nonbinary employees reporting higher rates of up to 57%. Queer people of color are 56% more likely to experience discrimination than their white counterparts.

Additionally, 72% of LGBTQIA+ employees reported hearing negative comments, slurs, or jokes targeted at them or their community in general and 44% of them have decided to quit their jobs due to unmanageable tensions at work resulting from lack of acceptance. 

Let’s talk about actionable ways you can support your LGBTQIA+ colleagues this pride month and year round.

Being queer in the workplace often means navigating subtle and not so subtle micro-agressions and negative experiences. One of the most powerful things you can do as an ally is simply to listen and affirm your colleagues experiences. 

Another way to show your LGBTQIA+ co-workers care is by accepting them and demonstrating a genuine interest in connecting with them. Think about inviting them to lunch, asking about their weekends, actually getting to know them during work functions, and even inviting them to hangout outside of work. This lets them know you actually see them as equals and care about bridging the divide they experience in day to day life at the office. 

Words matter. Being called something you are not can be incredibly damaging. That’s why it’s important to ask and share pronouns as well as normalize inclusive language. Start by including your pronouns in your email signature or Slack name to let all your co-workers know it’s okay to do the same and your LGBTQIA+ co-workers know that they are safe and supported. When it comes to inclusive language, a great place to start is exchanging “Hey guys” for neutral terms like “Hey everyone,” or “folks.” 

“Use gender-neutral terms like ‘partner’ or ‘spouse’ instead of assuming everyone is straight,” said Jon Cornejo, anti-racism consultant and activist. “It is then that person’s choice if they tell you the gender of their partner or not.”

In addition to listening to your queer colleagues’ experiences, in order to be a good ally, it’s important to educate yourself on LGBTQIA+ issues. Allyship isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about having the willingness to learn. Keep reading articles, watch documentaries, and follow prominent LGBTQIA+ voices on social media. 

Remember that although your queer peers are happy to have your support and are free to share their experiences with you should they choose to, they are not here to answer all your queer related questions or speak on behalf of their entire community. As an ally, that’s your job.

“I always felt like LGBTQ plus inclusion was kind of a no brainer, but was never an active ally,” said Jeannie Gainsburg, educational trainer and consultant on LGBTQ+ inclusion and effective allyship. “I didn’t even know there was a role for me to play as an ally.” 

She was willing to learn how to be an ally and realized that, “learning to be empathetic and inclusive is not only not political, but good for business. And yes, it can be an encouraging and enriching experience.”

One of the reasons why queer folks still experience trouble in the workplace is because they feel alone when advocating for themselves. That’s why it’s invaluable for allies to speak up and help when something is wrong. If you witness discrimination or hear inappropriate comments, don’t stay silent. 

“Speak up – we don’t realize the weight behind microaggressions,” said Alex Minter, Diversity and Inclusion Manager. “So call it out, or encourage your peers to participate.”

Show your LGBTQIA+ colleagues that they’re not alone by saying something. This includes everything from addressing derogatory jokes to advocating for inclusive policies.

It’s okay for you not to know everything. It’s okay for you to make mistakes. How you act in the face of adversity and growth is what matters most. If someone corrects you, listen, apologize, and commit to doing better.

“An ally is someone who stands in front of you when rocks are being thrown,” said Dr. Anthony Dissen, LGBTQIA+ advocate in healthcare. “So be an ally, get into the thick of it, and show the LGBTQIA+ people in your life that you are there to make sure they are healthy, supported, and cared for.”

Pride month is a great time to start getting educated and helping your queer peers but remember that being an ally should be a year-round commitment. 

“By acting intentionally and following a few key guide posts, we can ensure we’re being effective allies 365 days a year,” said Claudia Dulac head of Diversity & Inclusion for Merrill, for whom allyship became personal when her husband came out as gay.

Showing up, being consistent, and being sincere are key to supporting your LGBTQIA+ colleagues so they feel safe, heard, and part of the workplace.