How To Build A Support System Without A Traditional Family Structure
A support system is whoever is in your corner, providing love, encouragement, a helping hand, happiness and comfort. This may come in the form of family, friends, co-workers, teachers, a partner, and more. Having a support system is beneficial for milestones in your life, such as graduating, getting married, having a baby, landing that dream job, as well as during hard times.
Some people may have an untraditional support system, which means “family” who are potentially non-blood related. The beauty about a support system is that you can create your own – love has no stipulations or limitations.
Here’s how to build a support system without a traditional family structure.
Confidently Lean On Your Friends
“Rely on friends and those that are close to you.Even if it is one close friend, that is a great start!” said Ryanne Mellick, licensed professional clinical counselor.
Friends can be a great source of support. Whether they are from your childhood, college or adulthood, creating a friend circle of supporters can be beneficial in many ways. As you grow into adulthood it becomes less about peers solely your age, and you can expand your friends into different age ranges, and it becomes more about substance and what a person brings into your life.
“Not everyone comes from a healthy family, but it is sometimes the family we create can be stronger and deeper,” said Malka Shaw, licensed clinical social worker. “I would advise seeking out relationships that feel safe and reciprocal. And yes, sometimes that means taking that awkward first step. And it will require some effort. As we get older, starting new friendships takes longer to develop. You have to think of it as an investment, an investment in this other person as well as yourself.”
Become Active In Your Community
“A great way to meet people who share your values is by engaging with your community and volunteering,” said Saba Harouni Lurie, licensed marriage and family therapist. “Working towards a goal with others is connective and can help break through some of the social anxiety that might come up when putting yourself in a new setting.”
Your community can offer you opportunities to meet your neighbors and interact in multiple ways. Volunteering together and even putting events together can create a bond with people you may see often. All you have to do is take the first step and introduce yourself.
Trust In Your Co-workers
“Co-workers and colleagues can also provide support,” Ryanne said. “Sometimes it can be helpful to lean on your supervisors who can provide support in professional ways.”
Work doesn’t always have to be stiff or a hundred percent professional. The people who work with you are human, and possibly going through similar situations as you. It’s okay to get to know the people you probably spend more time with than your family. Trust in your co-workers for advice about a problem, the need to vent, or exciting news.
Your support system is what and who you make it. Give people a chance to show you they are there for you. Whatever you are seeking support for, there are people available; this may even come in the form of a therapist, teacher, the cashier at the local grocery store, or an associate. Give yourself the opportunity to be supported, you deserve it.
