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How To Deal With Being The ‘Successful One’ In The Family

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Jan. 15 2021, Published 2:20 a.m. ET

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We’ve all seen her on social media. We most likely have one of our own affectionately called “rich auntie.” She jet sets, has the latest in fashion, a nice car, brings the extravagant gifts, and slips grandma a few dollars when she needs it.

A tweet not too long ago asked, “Is the rich auntie really rich, or does she just not have kids?” The better question to ask is does the “rich auntie” know that she holds that title and does she even want it?

If one person in the family “makes it,” the expectation is that they will support everyone financially and that can be a lot for one person to carry.

If this sounds like you, here are some tips to ensure you keep your sanity and wallet at 100%:

No Is A Complete Sentence

You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you aren’t willing to give away your hard-earned money. You are your first priority and it’s okay to make sure your needs are met first before giving away funds you don’t have. You may be called selfish but they will understand; they will have no choice.

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Bury The Guilt

It can be hard to say no to family, which can lead to feelings of guilt when you do. However, if you give in every time you are asked for money, you are only enabling them. It’s one thing to help someone in a dire financial crisis but it is another to keep coming to their rescue as a result of their reckless relationship with money and poor spending habits. The more you set boundaries, the less you will feel guilty.

You Don’t Owe Anyone Anything

Your parents/grandparents/aunt/uncle taking care of you as a child is not a form of debt. For whatever reason, a lot of parents think their children owe them for simply bringing them into the world. Sure you want to recognize the sacrifices your parents/loved ones made for you to live the life you have but that doesn’t mean being their ATM. 

The media will make it seem as though millennials are freeloaders but according to MoneyUnder30.com one in five millennials help support their parents while providing on average $18,250 per year. 48% of millennials have delayed buying a home, 38% have delayed having children, and 29% put off marriage.

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Help In Ways That Aren’t Financial 

According to RecoveringWomenWealth.com, set up a budget plan for your loved one, formulate debt payoff, and set savings goals. It could be that they have never learned the tools to healthy money management and that’s where you come in. Teach them and lead by example.

If you must help in a way that’s financial, try paying a bill directly or doing the family grocery shopping.

Finding success is a blessing. It takes hard work and sacrifice and you shouldn’t be taken advantage of by anyone, including family, because you created a great life for yourself. Your family will love you and you’ll love yourself for giving them the tools to take their financial well-being seriously. 

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