How To Empower Your Teen To Choose Their Own Path After High School

College decisions are right around the corner and if you have a teenager eagerly awaiting a response from their top choice, you’re probably feeling the pressure. About 60% of teens say it’s extremely or very important for them to graduate from college. That points to them putting a lot of pressure on themselves. 

Waiting for college decisions can make both teens and parents feel anxious. So let’s anchor ourselves in some facts because getting away from the myth of “this decision defines everything” can alleviate some stress. 62.8% of U.S. High School graduates enroll in college after graduating, which means over a third do not go directly to college and about 90% of those who do take a gap year return to college after a year.

College education is incredibly important, no doubt there, and there are other paths, especially today. The modern job market makes space for all types of career pathways, from traditional corporate settings to freelancing to creative endeavors. That’s why today, 60.7% of the U.S. labor force does not hold a four-year college degree. It’s no longer “impossible” to be successful the untraditional way, as 40% of workers without bachelor’s degrees, across 20 industries, earn six figures. 

This limbo time between high school and college is perfect for discussing career life as a whole and empowering your teenagers about their futures. 

First, let’s contextualize. Yes, college is super important, but your first path doesn’t need to be your only path. Life is long, and in today’s world, there are so many ways to become successful. From being a creative to being a freelancer to being an academic. The current work landscape is defined by poly-workers, meaning many of us don’t just have one, but multiple careers, income sources, and more. 

“You have to optimise your career for flexibility, not a single profession,” said Vinod Khosla, venture capitalist and founder, “That’s the most important advice because you don’t know what will be around.”

To help your teenager make sense of the expansive nature of what is possible for them career wise, it can help for you to tell them about your own journey. So share your own career path, your successes, trials, errors, and lessons. Show your kids that career, like anything else in life, isn’t always linear. There is time to figure things out. 

These conversations do more than just inform, they expand what your teen believes is possible. When young people are exposed to real-life experiences, especially the pivots and uncertainties, they begin to understand that there is no single “right” way to build a life.

Let them know that you will always be there to support and guide them. That means helping them find the balance between doing what they want, understanding what they can reasonably do and expect, and how to ensure they are fulfilled while developing financial independence. Dreams are valuable and help foster drive but it’s crucial to maintain a balance rooted in learning how to support oneself financially. 

In order to help your teens be more receptive to advice, make sure you are actively listening to them first. “It’s extremely difficult for most teenagers (or adults, for that matter) to be open to advice until they feel that they’ve been heard out,” said Lisa Damour, adolescent psychologist.  

Instead of focusing on choosing the “perfect” path, encourage your teen to stay curious. Ask them what excites them, what they enjoy learning about. Go beyond what they see as the perfect job and encourage them to envision the kind of life they want. 

Exploration can take many forms: internships, part-time jobs, creative projects, a gap year spent travelling, the list goes on and on. Teens need to try to learn what attracts them, what is made for me, and what they could take or leave.

Remind them that the goal isn’t to have everything figured out right away, but to stay open, engaged, and willing to grow.

“Becoming is better than being,” said psychologist Carol Dweck, “The fixed mindset does not allow people the luxury of becoming. They have to already be.”

As a parent you want your children to grow into well adjusted adults and that extends beyond simply finding the “right” or the “perfect” career path. You want to support them in mapping out a future that feels like theirs rather than a cookie-cutter one. Remember to always lead with openness, honesty, and support.