How To Let Go Of Negative Friendships

letting go of friends


Jan. 4 2017, Published 2:30 a.m. ET

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I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. We face challenges, both good and bad, to learn and to grow. Sometimes these challenges are events, and sometimes they’re people.

You might have that one friend you aren’t thrilled to get a text from. You’re nervous to open the message because you know it’s another attempt to make plans, and you’ll feel obligated to reply with a message full of inauthentic “I miss you’s” and “it’s been way too long.” And against our better judgment, we make those plans and we do the small talk thing, as bad as it may feel. But why?

Why do we hold on to these people and friendships? I’m not talking about those best friends from birth where you finish each other’s sentences. I’m talking about those friendships that start to eventually feel forced, the ones that have turned into obligations, where weekend plans feel like a chore and conversations lack meaning and authenticity.

But yet we hold on. We commit to plans in the distant future, knowing the likelihood of them coming to fruition is slim. We say through smiles that we’ll catch up soon, knowing that’s far from the truth. Why do we hold on to commitments and people who used to bring us joy, but now slowly seep negative feelings into our daily life?

Everyone comes into our life to serve a purpose, be it comfort, companionship, or wisdom, among many things.  People come into our lives to help us through hard times, to celebrate the good times, and to serve as reminders for those pivotal moments in our life.  If you’re lucky enough, you’ll find your people. Those people who will be there for it all. Your “day one” friends. The ones that never fade away.

But that still leaves the others. Sometimes, they are the people who bring you down and only contribute negative energy to your relationship. Their company brings feelings of anxiety, guilt, nervousness, and might even lower your self-confidence.

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As difficult as it may be, we need to let go of these draining relationships in our lives, the ones that hold no value and bring us stress instead of happiness. You should feel no shame in removing the negative people that wear you down, because it allows room for good people and joy to enter your days.

It is your life, and you need to make decisions that benefit you. It’s up to you to surround yourself with positive energy, people who bring value to your life, and relationships where there is mutual appreciation. Spend your time on things and people that are in line with your purpose and your “why.” Find people that build you up instead of bringing you down.

When we make conscious decisions about who we want to spend our time with, we are choosing the people we want to have an impact on our lives. We are choosing our influencers. The circle of friends we interact with on a daily basis guides our thoughts and fuels our visions. We need to do what we can to involve people in our lives who are mutually supportive and appreciative of us. Remember to not let holding onto how a relationship used to be keep you from accepting that it has changed into something that no longer serves you well. It’s okay to let go when it’s that time.

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