Let’s All Embrace Work-Life Harmony And Forget About Balance

As millennial women, we’ve grown up hearing and reading about that often overused cliche of “work-life balance.” We’ve survived multiple recessions. We disrupted on social since the early days of Myspace, Xanga, Twitter and Facebook, and thrived even into today’s global TikTok domination. We’ve climbed our way up—despite workplace microaggressions, unrealistic productivity expectations, still unequal pay, and companies that have a lot more work to do when it comes to up-to-date technology and DEI policies.

And we’ve still managed to enjoy romantic connections, start businesses, hold down our homes, raise our children, and venture out to travel the world. We are well aware of both the idealistic romanticism and the dangerous farce so-called work-life balance can be.

At one point in my career, work-life balance meant managing to wake up on time for work after an evening of one-too-many 2-for-1 specials at happy hour the night before. At another, it was making a deliberate effort to close the laptop at 11 p.m. each day as the manager of hundreds of pieces of content, 30-plus contributors, and a 10-person staff.

Today, as a so-called geriatric millennial (cringe!), it’s a mixed bag of ensuring I’m getting enough sleep after doing work I love with the leaders of companies I serve, while attempting to create some sort of enjoyable life outside of work that might be sustainable into retirement age.

The traditional definition of work-life balance is all about giving “equal time or priority to personal and professional activities,” however, not all endeavors of an ambitious woman’s life are created equal. Since the pandemic, a large percentage of women have been dealing with challenges related to stress, reorganizing how they manage their homes, pivoting when it comes to childcare, parenting, and education, and doing all of this while striving to be the best in the work that they do.

When the challenges of barriers to professional and overall quality-of-life advancement make the scales unbalanced, there’s more need for a shift to the more fluid concept of work-life harmony.

Anne-Laure Le Cunff, a Ph.D. researcher and founder of Ness Labs, points to this fact in a way that makes me feel seen. “In its most neutral definition, work is generally seen as a mean for sustenance and survival—laboring the land to harvest food, then later on, as a way to produce goods and offer services in exchange for security,” she writes. “Because, historically, work was a necessary hardship—from Latin “labor toil, exertion”—it’s no wonder we see it in a negative light. But what about creative work? What about intellectual work?”

She continues, “In addition, the idea of sustaining an everlasting balance between two aspects as chaotic and unpredictable as our work and life outside of work is an illusion; an impossible task that ignores all the external factors shaping our daily lives.”

So many accomplished women have diverse takes on work-life balance, from Issa Rae discussing her need to plan balance “in advance,” to billionaire mogul Rihanna’s honesty about it being “almost impossible,” to TIAA CEO Thasunda Brown Duckett’s affirming assertion that it’s a “lie.”

When we’re constantly redefining the ways in which we see ourselves, leveraging a priority of self-care, and growing within leadership and self-development, the way we approach work-life balance can shift as well. As someone who struggles with perfectionism, it’s amazing to be able to take the pressure off and embrace harmony instead. Dr. Patti Fletcher, a marketing executive, speaker and author, so aptly writes for Forbes that work-life harmony is a concept that centers on “aligning your passion with your profession.” It makes room for flexibility, instability, and constant change while still allowing for discipline, leadership excellence, and goal-setting in a way that isn’t quite as exhausting.

Tina Wells, an esteemed marketer, strategist and entrepreneur I’ve interviewed and have admired for years, recently talked about a shift in perspective when it comes to work-life balance in a way that resonates. I, too, come from what she calls the “work hard, play hard generation.”

“What that really meant, when you thought about the idea of ‘balance,’ is the more work you did, the more play,” Wells said in a recent interview with Cubicle To CEO. “When I start to think about what ‘harmony’ felt like for me, I usually describe it as, like, a plate of your favorite meal, ” she added. “I’m in a season now where I’m working really hard, so maybe the main piece on my plate is my work, but those side dishes are going to be the things I need to balance out. And that, to me, is what makes it really harmonious.”

When we’re constantly redefining the ways in which we see ourselves, leveraging a priority of self-care, and growing within leadership and self-development, the way we approach work-life balance can shift as well. As someone who struggles with perfectionism, it’s amazing to be able to take the pressure off and embrace harmony instead. Dr. Patti Fletcher, a marketing executive, speaker and author, so aptly writes for Forbes that work-life harmony is a concept that centers on “aligning your passion with your profession,” as. It makes room for flexibility, instability, and constant change while still allowing for discipline, leadership excellence, and goal-setting in a way that isn’t quite as exhausting.

For me, sometimes work-life harmony means focusing intently on a work deadline during my industry’s high season—until I’ve finished the project well—then taking some time to shift to prioritize fun activities. It could be honing in on rest in order to get the creative juices flowing, then putting things in action in another quarter.

For you, it could be having a sip of wine at 9 p.m. instead of 6 p.m. and not feeling guilty about it. It could be cooking a quick meal-prepped breakfast for your kids at dinner time or enjoying a date with your partner folded into a family night. It could mean hiring help for childcare and re-focusing that time on career mapping, further training, networking, or professional self-care.

We shouldn’t expect to be able to always perfectly juggle the nuances of the highs, ebbs, and lows of life as mothers, wives, business leaders, innovators, managers, and caretakers. The key is avoiding the comparison game, getting to know (what or who) to prioritize and when, leaning on community, and shifting to focus your energy on what truly makes you happy in whatever season you’re in.