Thanksgiving Well-Being: How To Navigate Food, Family And Emotional Labor
As the year winds down and the holiday season picks up, many of us are preparing to gather with loved ones from near and far. Thanksgiving is often framed as a joyful moment to reconnect, celebrate gratitude, and share good food, but the reality can be more complicated.
Adulthood changes the way we experience the holidays. We bring our own perspectives, values, boundaries, and life circumstances into the room, and that can shift the dynamic in ways we didn’t expect. For some, this time of year can feel overwhelming, anxiety-inducing, or even emotionally triggering. Instead of stepping into easy nostalgia, we’re navigating family patterns, expectations, and the pressure to be “on,” all while trying to maintain our own sense of peace.
Her Agenda has gathered a few tips to help you navigate the emotional ups and downs of Thanksgiving gatherings.
Don’t Over-Do It: Health Is Wealth
Thanksgiving often brings a sense of nostalgia, especially when it comes to beloved family dishes. And while it’s a chance to enjoy the foods that make the holiday feel special, it can also help to approach the day with mindfulness. Paying attention to how certain foods make you feel physically and emotionally can support your overall well-being. So savor the sweet potato pie, appreciate every bite, and trust yourself to enjoy it in a way that feels good to you.
Olivia Fassino of Carolina Meadows says mindful eating is something you can practice all year round, but can be extra helpful to keep in mind during the holidays.
“It’s natural to feel stressed or bored and instantly reach for food when you may not necessarily be hungry,” she said. “The idea of mindful eating is about pausing for a moment to be intentional about why and what you’re eating.”
Family Will Always Be Family
According to the Hope Brain Center, holiday images often create unrealistic expectations that lead to disappointment. Authentic connection matters more than perfection. Furthermore, the Hope Brain Center believes that the best approach focuses on what you can control instead of trying to coordinate the perfect family gathering. Past experiences serve as the best predictors of future events, so they should guide realistic planning.
Overall, walking into Thanksgiving with realistic expectations will benefit you tremendously. Some advice that can help eliminate tension, arguments, and ultimately destroy a good time includes avoiding discussing politics if that triggers someone in your family, not interfering or trying to fix someone’s life and not taking everything personally.
Avoid Emotional Labor By Knowing When To Leave
As with all things in life, there’s a time to come, and a time to go. You have to know when it’s time to leave. Suppressing your true feelings for the benefit of others will be detrimental for your well being. If you feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or disgruntled, advocate for yourself and gracefully bow out from the situation.
“We can clearly communicate our boundaries to others,” said Kathryn Matthews of The Nourished Epicurean. “However, keep in mind: we cannot control how other people will respond to our boundaries. There may be nasty pushback, feelings of hurt and resentment or utter disregard for your boundaries—no matter how thoughtfully worded or how clearly you’ve stated your limits. We can only control how we react to the negative behavior of others.”
Kathryn said if boundary violations persist, you can always take your leave. Or, if the boundary offenders are visitors to your home, you can always ask them to leave.
“Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, yes,” Kathryn said. “But they also give you the psychological freedom to be true to yourself. And that’s something for which you can be truly grateful.”
