How To Support A Senior Parent While Balancing Your Own Life

“Adulting” is quite possibly the greatest balancing act you will ever perform, as you balance the constant push and pull of your work life and personal life – and whatever space is available in between. If you are also responsible for taking care of, or being present for, a parent who is a senior citizen, the balancing of yet another task can become overwhelming.

To help with this, we have pulled together some helpful ways to balance the scale.

Setting boundaries in these types of relationships is very important. You need to make it clear to your parent that you are available but not 100% of the time. Setting boundaries is a safety mechanism that allows each party to understand that there are limitations on your availability. This can limit your stress levels and ensure your parent isn’t demanding too high of an expectation.

“One of the first steps in managing stress is setting clear boundaries around personal time,” says Jessica Grove, COO of Give an Hour. “It’s common for caregivers to feel like they need to be available around the clock, but this can lead to exhaustion. Establishing boundaries means carving out personal time — even just a few minutes a day can make a big difference.”

Stressing the importance of independence is a gift you can give to yourself as a support system to your senior parent. Having a parent solely dependent on you is not the goal, so suggest or demonstrate ways to make your life easier, like writing down notes for passwords to emails and other things they may forget.

“Look for gadgets or services that can make their daily life easier — like a pill organizer with reminders, a ride-sharing app, or grocery delivery,” said Melissa Legere, LMFT, Clinical Director and Co-Founder of California Behavioral Health. Take a little time to set these up and show them how to use them. Doing this can empower them to manage things on their own, and also takes some tasks off your plate, giving you both more freedom.”

Caregiving can be an intense job, mainly because you are taking care of someone else and may forget to take care of yourself. Research shows an estimated 17-35% of family caregivers view their health as fair to poor. Furthermore, 40% to 70% of family caregivers have clinically significant symptoms of depression.

“Make sure that [you] prioritize [your] own mental health and know the signs of caregiver burnout, which include feeling drained, irritable, hopeless, and overwhelm,” said Patricia Bathurst, LMFT at The Oasis Luxury Rehab in California. “If [you] experience these things, then it’s important to seek out help from others.”

Whether it’s family members or professional help, reach out and create a village for yourself and your senior parent. It is unrealistic to go about caring for a parent alone. Ask those close to you to lend a hand and try to enlist a day service or a private nurse for your loved one. Additionally, explore caregiver groups and therapy for caregivers, which could provide extra support.

“Some gaps in knowledge or time can be covered by employing professionals, this can include caregiving services or any support groups,” said Raul Haro, LMFT, RN, at Pathways Recovery Center. “Such resources can act as a bridge in care and provide further help ensuring the best aid for all.”