Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail For 4 In 5 Women With ADHD

Every January, women are told it’s time for a reset. New goals. New habits. A “new you.”

However, for millions of women with ADHD, this annual ritual doesn’t inspire motivation — it fuels overwhelm, guilt, and burnout, as per Understood For All.

According to Understood For All, an estimated 26 million women living with learning and thinking differences, and ADHD diagnoses among women are nearly doubling in recent years, the need for accessible support has never been greater.

According to new research from Understood For All and The Harris Poll, 81% of women with ADHD quit or fail to meet their New Year’s resolutions, compared to 58% of women overall. Far from a lack of willpower, experts say this pattern reflects a deeper mismatch between how women’s brains work, especially ADHD brains, and the cultural expectations placed on them at the start of the year.

The survey, Women, ADHD, and Winter Blues, reveals that this season is uniquely challenging, as per Understood For All:

• 79% of women with ADHD experience the “winter blues,” compared to 55% of women overall
• 81% feel more mentally overwhelmed during this time of year
• 71% report feeling lonelier or more isolated in winter
  75% say they start the holidays excited, but burn out shortly after
  

Shorter days, disrupted routines, post-holiday exhaustion, and heightened expectations collide, creating what many women with ADHD describe as a perfect storm.

“January feels like a cruel mismatch,” says Sarah Greenberg, Vice President of expertise and strategic design at Understood For All. “Biologically, our nervous systems are craving rest and quiet. Socially, women are being told to reset, optimize, and perform — right when energy and motivation are naturally lower.”

From the outside, women with ADHD often appear highly capable, creative, empathetic, socially aware, and driven. Many are leaders, caregivers, and high achievers. Internally, however, the experience can feel very different.

As a licensed psychotherapist, Sarah says she consistently sees patterns that remain largely invisible:

• Extreme perfectionism
• An unusually loud inner critic
• Chronic overwhelm
• Overcompensation rather than “laziness.”
  

“The myth of laziness around ADHD is just wrong,” Sarah explains. “What we see instead is overworking and trying to make up for real or perceived shortcomings — until the system collapses.”

While most people abandon New Year’s resolutions, women with ADHD are far more likely to internalize that “failure.”

“Women are socialized to blame themselves rather than the system,” Sarah says. “Layer ADHD on top of that — years of feeling like you’re falling short — and the self-criticism becomes automatic.”

The result? When goals don’t stick, frustration quickly turns inward with the question of “Why can’t I do this? Everyone else seems to manage.”

In reality, the expectations themselves are often unrealistic, especially during winter, when motivation and energy naturally dip.

ADHD is commonly associated with attention and organization challenges, but emotional regulation is just as central, and far less discussed, as per the National Library of Medicine.

“Emotional regulation is actually an executive function,” Sarah explains. “ADHD affects how the brain processes and recovers from emotions, making stress feel more intense and harder to shake.”

Add in the disproportionate caregiving and mental load many women carry, and everyday stressors can quickly trigger overwhelm. When that happens, the brain often enters what clinicians call a “must-avoid” response — scrolling, isolating, shutting down, or emotionally checking out.

It’s not avoidance out of apathy. It’s self-protection.

The Harris Poll data underscores this cycle:

• 82% of women with ADHD wish they had better strategies to get unstuck
• 66% avoid problem-solving due to family demands
• 64% cite work schedules as a barrier
• 86% procrastinate if they can’t do something perfectly
• 85% get angry at themselves for not meeting their own standards

When stress builds and avoidance kicks in, it becomes increasingly difficult to re-engage, unless the cycle is intentionally disrupted.

To address this gap, Understood For All has launched ADHD Unstuck, a free, self-guided digital tool designed specifically for women with ADHD. Developed in partnership with Northwestern University’s Lab for Scalable Mental Health, the experience takes just 10 minutes and is grounded in evidence-based, single-session intervention (SSI) research.

“There simply haven’t been enough expert-vetted, evidence-based tools built for women with ADHD,” Sarah says. “And traditional care, therapy, medication, and coaching are inaccessible to many due to cost, time, or stigma.”

ADHD Unstuck is designed to meet women exactly where they are.

The tool follows a three-step framework:

1. Psychoeducation: Users learn how stress, mood, and ADHD interact, which normalizes their experience and quiets self-blame.
2. Mood Experiment: A brief, practical activity demonstrates how small actions can quickly shift emotional state.
3. Personalized Action Plan: Users select three mood-boosting activities and a positive affirmation tailored to counter common roadblock thoughts.

For Sarah, ADHD Unstuck is about more than mood regulation. It’s about shifting the narrative.

“Everyone deserves support — not just those who can afford therapy,” she says. “Women with ADHD have always been resourceful. This tool honors that by offering something practical, validating, and free.”