Why Rest Still Feels Out Of Reach For Ambitious Women

Rest should be simple, yet why rest feels out of reach for ambitious women has roots that go deeper than exhaustion.

Many high-achieving women want rest, crave rest, and desperately need rest but feel guilty the moment they slow down. When your worth has been tied to output for years, stillness can feel like failure instead of care.

Psychologist Megan Dalla-Camina describes “silent burnout” in high-achieving women who are always on, emotionally depleted, but still performing. Research supports that: a Deloitte report recently found that 53% of women say their stress levels are rising, with nearly half experiencing burnout. As author Gloria Samuels writes in her manifesto, “Burnout doesn’t wear lipstick” – rest is not a failure, but a radical act of self-preservation.

We live in a productivity-obsessed society where long hours are romanticized and burnout is normalized. Women, already fighting for visibility and credibility, often push themselves harder to prove their value. Research from the Harvard Business Review shows that women experience burnout at significantly higher rates than men, partly because they shoulder more expectations at work. Even rest gets repackaged as another form of productivity, It is “rest so you can work better” not rest because you deserve it.

This is one core reason why rest still feels out of reach for ambitious women: rest has been framed as optional, not essential. Beyond paid work, women perform an enormous amount of unpaid labor. Studies from the American Psychological Association show that women carry a disproportionate share of emotional labor, which significantly increases stress and mental fatigue.

From childhood, many women are praised for being responsible, high-achieving, and endlessly capable. Over time, productivity becomes tied to identity: “I am valuable because I am useful.” “I’m respected because I produce.” or “I’m loved because I show up.”

Research from the Cleveland Clinic shows that working beyond your limits can increase illnesses and accidents related to your physical and mental well-being.

Burnout isn’t always the dramatic collapse people imagine. Often, it looks like drive: taking on more responsibilities, chasing accomplishment, ignoring fatigue. Psychologists call this “high-functioning burnout.”

Symptoms include: constant tiredness masked by productivity, irritability mistaken for intensity, inability to shut down mentally, guilt when not working and treating rest as a reward instead of a need. It feels like ambition but it’s actually depletion. Without intentional rest, burnout becomes a long-term health risk.

Here is how ambitious women can reclaim rest according to speaker Beth Inglish:

1. Acknowledge the Importance: Understand that rest is not a luxury but a necessity for a healthy mind, body, and soul. It’s not about being lazy; it’s about recharging your batteries.
2. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to things that drain your energy unnecessarily. Boundaries are key to protecting your time for rest and rejuvenation.
3. Prioritize Sleep: Quality sleep is non-negotiable for overall health. Aim for 7-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night to allow your body to repair and recharge.
4. Embrace Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness practices like meditation or deep breathing exercises into your daily routine. These can help calm the mind and promote relaxation.
5. Nourish Your Body: Be kind to your body and do things that make you feel good. Eat healthy foods, drink enough water, stretch, and move in ways that boost your mood and energy levels.

Many women aren’t struggling because they’re undisciplined. They are struggling because the world has conditioned them to believe rest must be justified, hidden, timed, and earned. Understanding why rest feels out of reach for ambitious women is the first step. Choosing to rest anyway is the second. It is important to note that rest is not the opposite of ambition, it is what protects it.