Why Single People Average Less Than Two Dates Per Year

As dating apps continue to grow, surprisingly, actual dating is drastically creeping to a halt. It appears that the traditional standards that baby boomers lived by don’t correlate to millennials’ and Gen Z’s standard of living.

According to a nationwide survey entitled DatingNews.com and the Kinsey Institute, U.S. singles aren’t in search of romance, in fact, U.S. singles are going on as few as two dates a year on average.

“It’s not that singles have stopped dating entirely — it’s just that they’re not dating nearly as much as we think,” said Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Kinsey Institute Senior Research Fellow and study lead.

The average single person is only going on two to three dates per year. There are a lot of factors contributing to why so many singles are going on few dates and one of them is economics. 

Additionally, Justin said dating can be an expensive endeavor, and it’s not necessarily feasible for everyone to pursue, especially in these times of high inflation. Political factors, such as growing restrictions on reproductive rights, are also playing a role, especially for women, some of whom see sex and dating as being too risky at the moment. Then there’s also the current dating landscape. We actually found that about 1 in 5 single people say they’ve put off dating because they’re just exhausted from it.  

Key Findings From The Survey :

• Singles averaged just 1.74 dates in the past year — with men going on 48% more dates than women.
• 55% of singles spent nothing on dating; those who did averaged $400 annually.
• 70% don’t track their dating costs, and only 11% know exactly what they spend.
• Despite the cutbacks, 46% say their dating spend was “worth it.”

“For the real daters out there that I’ve spoken to, they want clarity, emotional availability and actual effort!” said Val Bastien, M.S., Certified Dating & Relationship Coach. “I also see them wanting to move things along quickly which I disagree with. The idea of a “slow burn” I almost do not hear about anymore unless I am introducing it into the conversation.”

“It’s interesting because daters want their suitors to be their authentic self, and expect that, but not giving it enough time to either pull it out of them or perhaps giving them time to warm up to that. Instant chemistry can happen, but that’s mostly only physical,” Val added. “It takes time to see and feel the realness, the vulnerability that they desire. Research shows that people show up as their ‘representative’ for about the first three months of dating and after that, it starts to dissipate and the real begins to come out.”

“For a lot of people, yes,” said Heather Bruce Allison, Sacred Feminine & Soul Guide. “But it’s a tell-tale symptom: if one person who isn’t comfortable with intimacy, and feels a great deal of entitlement (doesn’t feel inspired or the need to do anything special for their date) — and the other person who typically feels so much discouraged longing for a partner, that they are willing to settle for the kind of scraps a ‘Netflix and Chill’ date indicates. Especially on an early date. Later, this could just be cozy and cuddly.”

Justin said he believes the future is always hard to predict, but one thing that seems likely is that AI is going to become an even bigger part of the way we date. Already, many are turning to AI to help them find matches, suggest icebreakers, and even help them to improve their dating profile. I think that’s something we can only expect more of in the years ahead. 

Ultimately, Dr. Amanda Gesselman, Researcher at the Kinsey Institute says “Our data suggests we’re at a crossroads: singles will have to rethink and reinvent what dating looks like to move forward.”