We spoke to Nicole Moore about How to Get Through the Holidays Single, but the conversation was so in-depth we decided to do a second article about her coaching journey and additional tips for ambitious women searching for love.
Nicole’s blend of tough love and vulnerability may inspire you to develop a practice for self-partnership and for calling love into your life. So, get comfortable, grab your favorite drink and fully indulge in our interview below:
Her Agenda: For those who don’t know, please tell us a little about how you became a coach?
Nicole Moore: My journey to becoming a love coach started from childhood. My parents have their own blocks around love but they were kinda blocked around expressing it… So, I had really bad self-esteem, [which] set me up to not to have the best dating time.
I was chasing guys to get self-worth. [With] my first boyfriend, I became so addicted to him, I completely lost myself. Then he broke up with me and I was devastated. [Afterwards], I went through dating unavailable men [and] periods when no one was asking me out. I suffered a lot and I think that suffering created a desire within me to figure out how to love myself [and] how to have great relationships.
[While] I worked in public relations, I wasn’t really liking it. Then I [attended] a seminar, [where] a girl stood up and said, “I’m 24 years old and I’m becoming a life coach.” I was 26 at the time. A light bulb went off in my head and I was like, “Wait, I can do this? I don’t have to wait until I’m 50 years old?” I started researching…and saw that NYU had a life coaching certification… So, I quit my job, traveled and then enrolled in the certification [program].
[When] I got certified, I wanted to help people with self-love. I got pro bono clients and they all wanted to talk about [their] love life… [so] it evolved from there.
Her Agenda: What do you do for your own development that keeps you sharp in your industry?
Nicole Moore: I really am a big fan of A Course in Miracles. It really grounds me spiritually. I have a practice every day where I’ll read a little [bit], meditate and journal. Then, I write what my desires are… as a tool to expand [my] life [thanks to] Regina Thomashauer. I think all women should read her book and do the course.
Her Agenda: Do you see a correlation between someone’s love life and their professional success?
Nicole Moore: I notice a lot of women who struggle with self-love seem to struggle with moving forward in their careers. I think the common denominator there is a lack of self-worth [which] translates into not feeling worthy of more money [and] not asking for opportunities. I also work with super successful women that have confidence in other areas of their life [except] their love life. So, I’ve seen different sides of the spectrum.
Her Agenda: While imposture syndrome is real in the workplace, it’s also real in dating. What are some signs we should look out for?
Nicole Moore: One of the biggest signs of imposter syndrome in dating is an over analytical mind that’s constantly thinking about how to show up perfectly on a date. They might feel anxious from the moment the date is set up until they are on the date.
This continues even after the date. They pick apart what they said then find ways they “did it wrong.” Another symptom is being an imposter online in order to be impressive.
Her Agenda: What are three ways people can get over imposture syndrome in dating?
- Realize what I want is what I’m supposed to have. The reason you want it is because it’s right for you.
- Remind [yourself] when you are fully you, that’s when people love you the most.
- Get out of the “evaluatee” position and get into the evaluator position. You are evaluating the people you date to see if they can be the best match for you.
Her Agenda: What are your best book recommendations for women who want to have it all?
Nicole Moore: Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Luis [and] there’s a book by Marianne Williamson called A Woman’s Worth.
Her Agenda: What is your motto?
Nicole Moore: I get to have what I want. I get to have what I truly desire.