Navigating Workplace Microaggressions Without Compromising Your Mental Health

Have you ever been told you should smile more? Complimented for how “articulately” you speak? Praised for how “brave” you are due to a disability? Or told, as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, “You don’t look gay!”, as if it were a compliment?

If any of these ring a bell, then you have likely experienced a microaggression, and you are not alone. About 1 in 5 Americans experience at least one microaggression a day.

Microaggressions refer to indirect, subtle, and/or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group. They’ve been called “death by a thousand cuts” because of how regularly they occur. On the surface, they may appear minimal, but repeated exposure can have a lasting impact on one’s general well-being. 

Microaggressions can lead to chronic stress, high blood pressure, gastrointestinal issues, and sleeping problems. They have been linked to anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, substance use disorder, low self-esteem, and even suicide. When the microaggressions have racial components, many experience race-based traumatic stress (RBTS).

In the workplace, these issues can limit the victim’s professional opportunities, manifesting themselves as fatigue, decreased motivation, and lower work productivity.

So, how can we combat something so pervasive? Here are a few tips:

This may sound counterintuitive, but although microaggressions should not be tolerated, they should be acknowledged. Sweeping them under the rug, denying the harm that they cause, adversely affects you, other victims, and the workplace as a whole. 

A one-off single insult may not cut deep, but repeated exposure to insults will leave a mark. The more microaggressions are allowed, the more they are likely to continue. 

If you are constantly told by workplace leaders that “they do not see color”, then they are invalidating you and your experiences (because race is real and should not be ignored). This is a microaggression.

If your coworkers give you a cutesy nickname that you did not agree to because they cannot be bothered to learn to pronounce your name, this is a microaggression. 

Once you recognize microaggressions for what they are,  you can take the proper steps to address them. 

Deciding when and how to respond to a microaggression depends on the person and the situation. 

Was the individual a customer you will never see again? Then perhaps it’s not worth the effort to respond. However, if the microaggression came from a colleague with whom you collaborate daily, not addressing it may lead to future issues.  

If the individual is someone you have a rapport with, then the conversation can be casual. However, if it’s someone you don’t know that well, then the conversation may require more planning. 

Sometimes the microaggression can be addressed right then and there: “I’m from New York, what made you ask ‘where am I really from’?”  

Other times, a more cautious approach is needed. Ask yourself:

• Is it safe to speak up right now?
• Will addressing it now help the situation or escalate it?
• Do I have the energy to do this at the moment?

If the answer is no, then take a step back and address it when ready.

Or, don’t. 

If you choose not to address the microaggression directly, ensure that you allow yourself space to process it. Consider speaking to a friend or a mentor who can validate your experience. If you would rather not speak on it at all, it might help to journal. Your feelings are valid, and they need somewhere to go. Release them onto the page.

If you choose to address the microaggression, follow these best practices :

• Pause…take a deep breath: This will prevent you from reacting in anger, as anger will not help the situation. 
• Be hard on the behavior:  Be clear about the impact of the incident, how harmful it is, and that it will not be tolerated.
• But be soft on the person: Approach it in an empathetic way. Assume there was no malicious intent. Give the individual the benefit of the doubt, as the goal is not to attack, but to help them understand.
• Document it: It is always good practice to document any such incident at work, especially if it becomes a pattern, as at some point, you may need to loop in Human Resources.