While we’d all love to possess the ability to leave our problems at the door, it’s unrealistic. Break-ups are hard. Heartbreak is a human experience. That said, there are ample ways for folks experiencing a break-up to push through and maintain focus while at work.
The key is to use work as a distraction. Dive in head first with an emphasis on execution. Expand your network (and net worth) by leveraging after-hours typically spent with your partner on new interests. Each of these steps will also aid in moving forward post-separation. In this article, we’ll highlight six tips on how to focus at work after a break-up.
Set Up Clear Boundaries
Defining boundaries ensures that you can move forward in a healthy way. Be clear and concise. Put emotions aside. More importantly, adopt the power of “no.” That said, no phone calls or spending time together. You are not obligated to divulge details about your personal life moving forward. This tip is crucial, especially if your ex is a fellow employee. Meanwhile, some experts, including attorney and career coach Wendi Weiner, recommend looping in your manager. “The reason for that is your output can be affected,” she shared with Fast Company.
Create A To-Do List (And Stick To It)
Realign your work and personal life by assessing specific needs and tasks. Make a list, from exploring new living arrangements to expanding your social circle beyond shared networks and rediscovering personal goals at work. However, don’t go overboard. Keep it manageable. In time, this will aid in shaping new habits.
Find An Accountability Buddy
Never shy away from asking for help. Let one to two trusted co-workers know what’s going on. However, there’s no need to get into the nitty-gritty. If you need an ally, someone in the know may be helpful. Further, a 2021 study published in the International Association of Relationship Research found that socializing can prevent feelings of loneliness and depression.
Depending on the intensity of the relationship, your life may look different than the last time you were single. What better time to date yourself or find yourself again? Throw on your favorite dress and treat yourself to a fancy dinner. Explore a new interest or hobby. A great place to start? Ask yourself, “When was the last time you felt alive?”
Make Your Health A Top Priority
Emotions will flow during this time. It’s normal. Herein lies the importance of keeping mental and physical health top of mind. Rise and shine by taking a moment to meditate. Head to a group fitness class after work. Speak with a therapist about your feelings and the many changes occurring in your life at a rapid rate. Take meetings on a walk — meaning if you have an afternoon of phone calls, take them while going for a stroll. Keep in mind that your employer may also offer mindfulness services to those in need.
Everything Is Going To Be OK
Please remember that everything will be OK. The pain you are feeling is temporary. Give yourself time to grieve. Then, get back up. By doing these steps, you can create a new vision for your life at work and in your personal life. Kelli Harding, MD, MPH, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University Irving Medical Center in New York City, stated that healing takes time. “If it was a short relationship but knocks the wind out of your sails when it’s over, that’s OK to acknowledge and feel all the feelings to move through them,” she told Everyday Health.
When experiencing a break-up, you should focus on what you can control. In time, you will build a new routine and discover a newfound zest for a new beginning.