How To Handle Remote Work Anxiety As A Manager

Working remotely definitely has its benefits. You have got the element of flexibility, the lack of someone standing over your shoulder to check your work, and the peace of not having to listen to the chatty Kathy in the office while you are trying to focus on meeting a deadline. As someone who has managed people and systems for more than a decade, remote work has been a saving grace from burn out.

However, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with it’s own unique version of remote work anxiety. Anxiety, in general, has been a major challenge for American adults this year alone, with an American Psychiatric Association report showing 43% indicate they “feel more anxious than they did the previous year.” Add to that the elements of isolation and work-life imbalance associated with remote work. According to an analysis by the Integrated Benefits Institute, for 40% of fully remote professionals, there was an “increased likelihood of anxiety and depression symptoms compared to in-person (35%).”

Being a manager is isolating enough since the buck stops with you when it comes to mentorship, results, and team performance, so working in a silo at home (or even from a beachfront balcony) gets super lonely as well.

I have experienced this anxiety several times throughout my remote work career, and it is something I have had to be deliberate about nipping in the bud. Here are three tips that have been helpful in sustaining my sanity as well as my career growth:

Through therapy, I have learned that one thing I am great at doing is overthinking. From a childhood built on seeking perfection, I had mastered how to think and be one step ahead of someone so that I would not disappoint them and make a mistake. This involves a great deal of overthinking, and mentors have pointed out to me that it is a weakness in leadership.

“You can’t read people’s minds, mistakes are necessary because you can learn from them, and perfection is a fallacy,” one very successful media executive once told me. And he is absolutely right.

This notion is supported by experts. Over-thinkers are often conscientious, communicative and detail-oriented, but once anxiety takes hold, those strengths can become weaknesses, psychologist Craig Sawchuk, told the BBC. He added that when over-thinkers start to worry, they tend to either disengage or over-engage and constantly seek reassurance.

“The biggest source of gasoline that anxiety kind of feeds off of is this uncertainty,” he said.

Trust me, taking an email for literally what it says, scheduling one-on-ones to gain clarity face-to-face, and sticking to why I was hired have helped lessen my anxiety tremendously.

Leave the overthinking behind, offer people grace, and get clarity through the usual actions of in-person management such as having a real conversation. Check in. Ask your team about their day. Offer affirmations and constructive criticism. Really engage consistently and authentically.

Often, as ambitious leaders, we try to take on everything by ourselves. We think we can heal ourselves as well. I have learned that I actually need that outside-looking-in perspective that is not biased. (I mean, aren’t I the greatest thing walking? I can do anything. That’s how high my confidence truly is.) When it comes to tackling challenges, you need support. Anxiety does not have to be something you deal with alone just because you often work alone.

Finding a good therapist and engaging with a mentor (no matter how old or young you are) can be beneficial in strengthening the qualities of a good leader, including empathy, self-awareness, and mindfulness. These are also qualities that help combat anxiety.

Many of the top, most successful women I admire attest to this. Entrepreneur and actress Issa Rae once told Elle magazine, “…Many periods in my past have been marked by intense moments where my ambition and hyper-independent trauma response streaks caused professional and relational rifts. Therapy finally gave me the safe space to acknowledge years of unaddressed personal and professional trauma that left me depressed and emotionally unavailable.”

Schedule those sessions whether you are in your home office or working poolside in Bali, and keep checking in with those mentors who were pivotal to your success when you worked in an office. It is a saving grace.

Before a bit of self-reflection and redirection, I had always defined my self-worth on the career I chose in my 20s –where I was dressing up in a suit, going into an office on 5th Avenue in New York City, and being a boss. Now that I am well beyond that decade of life, it is important to step outside of the suffocating and stifling box I had placed myself in. Things have changed, workplace cultures have changed, and I chose to remain remote. I realized I had not to come to terms with that new reality, even after doing it for several years.

For me, true acceptance started with earning my master’s degree in organizational leadership with a concentration in coaching. This major pivot took things to another level because, with coaching, you partner with people in their journey of success in whatever way they define it (versus being someone just hired to direct an overall company agenda and get things done). I created a new website, started offering other services, and began searching for ways to serve in that capacity. It has allowed me to tap into my need to reconnect with others in a way that’s meaningful, while still pursuing editorial management, writing, and editing. Focusing on something outside of my usual role (or what I’m “known” for) has helped ease a lot of anxiety because it gives me options.

If you’re struggling with remote work anxiety as a manager or company leader, it’s important to self-reflect, redefine your “why,” and find ways to not only combat it but remedy it. If it means going back to the office (as I’ve done at least twice in my journey) by all means, do so. If not, try the above tips and see where they take you.